26 Years After 1989, Swifty Takes Her Crew to Australia

‘Feminist’ Taylor Swift has now opened up her heart to more than just mega wealthy, ultra-famous, Hollywood it-girls. Now, she’s taken her 125 person crew, band and (ultra wealthy) beau on a vacation to Hamilton Island in Australia preceding her 26th birthday.

Taylor Swift–modest singer-songwriter, spokeswoman for all women, exceptional dancer, outspoken chairperson of the anti-Spotify movement, country singer extraordinaire and 25-year-old pop culture maven encompassing half of Instagram’s top 10 most liked photos of 2015, passive aggressive mean girl–is rumored to add another million to her bank account every single day. That would mean at the close of 2015, the 1989 singer would have grossed $365 million in a single year, an outrageous figure that is more than likely false.

But let’s not nitpick, in the 8th grade, my loving mother surprised me with tickets to Taylor’s Speak Now Tour, which I begrudgingly accepted, begrudgingly attended and begrudgingly sang and danced for an entire night. Her songs are just tooooooo catchy.

During the singer’s time in Australia and the approach of her 26th birthday, Swift was met with quite the buzz to which she responded to in another passive aggressive Instagram post sharing:

Aussie press, I love your enthusiasm but my birthday isn’t for 2 weeks and it’ll be a quiet one this year. Let’s take it down a notch:)

Anything that ends with an old-school AIM emoticon is either from your grandmother or coming from an utterly-irritated-and-trying-not-to-show-it human (or lizard person). I can’t wait to see what a quiet star’s birthday looks like.

Happy birthday, Taylor (:

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