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Amy Schumer Wants to Go Down on Lily Tomlin

Amy Schumer won big at the Critics’ Choice Awards, which are possibly even less relevant than the Oscars, and was her usual ‘hilariously quirky’ self. She got both the MVP award and Best Actress in a Comedy.

While she didn’t exactly take a page from her bestie J-Law’s book and fall down the stairs, she did talk about how ‘fat’ she is a lot, which is pretty classic Jennifer Lawrence.

During her acceptance speech for Best Actress in a Comedy, which she beat out Jennifer Lawrence and Lily Tomlin for, she announced that she’d love to tongue fuck Lily’s lily.

Get in line, Amy Schumer. So would the rest of the world.

From the speech, I guess we learn that Amy Schumer is omg so fat, and hates Florida as much as she loves Lily Tomlin’s clitoris.

Neat.

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I think the tongue flickering is a prelude to her other favorite activity with the ladies: sliding her big ham fist into their vaginas. She’s likely trying to Ronda Rousey to trade in her MMA gloves for latex gloves so she can get some fisting action too.

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