Mayor Giuliani Expresses Idiotic Outrage at Beyoncé’s ‘Black Lives Matter’ Half Time Performance

Let’s face it. Partisan or not, information is at the tips of our fingers. Because of this constant flux of information, we’re an existence of outrage. Man, what a time to be alive. In an age where modern medicine can keep us alive indefinitely, we’re all going to drop dead of premature heart attacks anyway. Depending on how far gone your humanity is at any given time, your blood will boil to varying degrees.

If you’re not one of those people who pretentiously chooses not to watch the Super Bowl and tell everyone about it, in all likelihood you saw Beyoncé steal last night’s halftime show. Let’s be fair, she slay, she slay, she slay x2340932849. Girl killed it. Not just in terms of performance, which she’s been doing since she was removed from the womb… last night was a little different. A day after the unexpected drop of her newest song and video, “Formation,” Queen B used the most watched programming event of the year to remind the public of one, simple, solitary, systematically ignored fact: Black lives matter

Donning costumes reminiscent of Malcolm X and the Black Panthers, Beyoncé reminded us that there is no fucking party on earth like a Black Panther Party. Bitter members of the American public, namely the National Sheriffs’ Association turned their backs on the performance, perhaps in a metaphor for the backs turned on black Americans for hundreds of years.

So, in typical Fox News fashion of verbal masturbation, Monday’s broadcast of Fox & Friends invited New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani to confirm what they had already been thinking. When asked about the halftime performance, Mayor Giuliani takes a page right from the book of all my racist Italian uncles:

This is football, not Hollywood, and I thought it was really outrageous that she used it as a platform to attack police officers who are the people who protect her and protect us, and keep us alive. And what we should be doing in the African-American community, and all communities, is build up respect for police officers. And focus on the fact that when something does go wrong, okay. We’ll work on that. But the vast majority of police officers risk their lives to keep us safe.

Well, f**k. For starters, I grew up in suburban white America where the police are more likely to induce paranoia than they are to produce feelings of safety. The cops are seldom called and so they are left to patrol the streets for minor municipal offenses or to hassle teenagers.

I remember the first time I cried at the sight of a police officer. I was probably about 3 in the car and my mother asked accusingly, are you buckled? There’s a cop and he’ll pull us over if you’re not. Do you want momma to go to jail? I was filled with fear because in my three year old world, that’s the worst thing that could happen to me and this seemingly innocuous officer could be the bearer of this worst thing.

I mean to be fair, it’s been a sleepy little town since the GI Bill created it and all its little boxes.  The kids complain about how boring of a place it is to live. The adults join school boards, run girl scout troops and host Pampered Chef parties. And still no one ever leaves because as we’ve all found ourselves saying at one point or another, it’s simply a nice place to grow up. In this nice place to grow up where nothing ever happens, I fear and avoid the police and it’s a white neighborhood.

While I know I would still dial 911 at the slight indication of danger, I don’t trust the police. For millions of black Americans, the cops have been the bearer not of my worst thing, but the worst thing. The cops have shipped them off in pine boxes. The cops have stamped them with prison IDs before they even had a chance to consider stamping their passports. Mayor Giuliani rebuffs this with:

 And what we should be doing in the African-American community, and all communities, is build up respect for police officers. And focus on the fact that when something does go wrong, okay. We’ll work on that.

Okay. In a word he shows what he truly means: black lives don’t matter and I hate people trying to tell me that they do. Forgive me if my call for change interrupts your precious football game.

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7 years ago

Since when has this become a political blog.

7 years ago

Ally Sabatina–f**k you, and shove your faux white guilt up your sheltered asshole. Your anecdote about your life was so vapid and your conclusions about cops so asinine, I fear for you. Holy s**t, you “fear” the police because you might get pulled over for a speeding ticket in a white surburban neighborhood?? Holy s**t, your sensibilities are so fragile, perhaps you might be better on living in the wild surrounded by no one. heaven forbid, an idea or thought challenge your white guilt suburban bliss. Damn, the current trend among young thinkers is so pathetic, unstimulating, and dangerous. You… Read more »

Capt. Cornhole
Capt. Cornhole
7 years ago

You know what matters to me? Big asses: big black asses, big white asses, big Asian asses. Seeing them spread that ass and their brown-eye winking at me, just pours gas on my fire! Just wanna stuff my snoot all up in that!
*Big asses matter!*