Ed Sheeran’s Face Sliced to Protect the Knights of the Roundtable

The British Royalty really knows how to party.

At a soiree at the home of Prince Andrew, talk turned to the subject of becoming a Knight. James Blunt jokingly suggested he’d love to be Sir James.

As one naturally would do, Princess Beatrice picked up a ceremonial sword, you know just one of the many ceremonial swords laying about, and started to playfully knight the singer of “You’re Beautiful.”

But the God that protects the throne could not possibly allow the perpetrator of such a shitty song to be knighted even in jest. As Beatrice raised her sword, she grazed Ed Sheran’s cheek who was standing behind her.

The crowd was shocked and Beatrice was upset by her maiming of the pop star, though Sheeran behaved very Britishly and brushed it off as merely a flesh wound.

Thankfully those who watch over the Knights of the Roundtable kept James Blunt from sullying the crown, even with a joking knighthood. Though a singer had to be harmed, it’s all for the good of the kingdom.

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