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May the Ghost Of Robert Johnson Haunt All of the Beyonce Rock Grammy Nom Haters

For this first time in history, I, a David Bowie worshipping rock snob of the highest and most pretentious order, do not side with rock snobs.

So, y’all, listen. While the sentence on its own, “Beyonce nominated for Rock Grammy,” sounds wrong, and I get it, the fact is, her song “Don’t Hurt Yourself” off Lemonade is a banging rock jam.

Come on, it has Jack White on it. Like y’all didn’t see this coming?

Did you even listen to the song before you decided you hated it, Twitter?

For one, Twenty One Pilots barely classifies as music, period. And for another, if Beyonce’s track “Single Ladies” or some shit was up for a rock Grammy I guess I would kind of care.

But you can tell this Gatsby fuck never even heard the song he’s hating on.

Her one song which is a rock song is up for a rock Grammy. One Direction killed rock years ago when they turned that song by The Who into an extended joke about not being able to remember a song. Chill, guy.

Clearly you already do, because if you heard “Don’t Hurt Yourself” you wouldn’t be like this. All I know is I don’t want this passive aggressive Bernie Bro telling me what the fuck rock is.

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