So, “Chained to the Rhythm” by Katy Perry hit the Internet today. If you look at the list of people who contributed to it, you would think it’d be insanely awesome. Prepared to be let down.

First off, Sia wrote it. I bet she had this in her back pocket somewhere and gave it to Katy Perry. Maybe she wrote it with Perry in mind. Sia typically writes amazing songs. This one underwhelms.

Max Martin also produced it. He’s sold over 135 million singles, worked with every big name artist from Backstreet Boys to Britney Spears to Taylor Swift. He co-produced and/or co-wrote “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”, “Shake It Off” and “Blank Space.” That is killer. That is a golden touch.

Skip Marley, Bob Marley’s 2o-year-old grandson, also drops a verse in it. A Marley kid! That should be worth something. “Should.”

This song has that tropical vibe going on that’s popular like you hear in Drake’s “One Dance”. It mixes in disco and a bouncy, party, mid-tempo beat. The lyrics are meh.

Turn it up, it’s your favorite song
Dance, dance, dance to the distortion
If you feel like turnin’ up, keep it on repeat
Stumbling around like a wasted song

The lyric video is the best thing about it. Big hand, tiny kitchen. Tiny hamburger too!

Final grade: C+. You be the judge.

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