ESC

Naya Rivera Mesmerized by David Spade’s Magic Penis

How does David Spade do it? I swear that guy is with a new hot model or actress every other month. He’s a decent looking guy. Those residuals from Joe Dirt must really be making him rich because he looks like a 10/10 to women. Rumors of past women include Carmen Electra, Charlotte McKinney, Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson. Actually, that’s pretty C-list. Still, not bad.

Now come photos of Spade, 52, cuddling with ex-Glee star Naya Rivera, 30, in a pool in Hawaii.

They did their best to stay on the down low. An eyewitness (which sounds like someone creepily watching their every move) told Entertainment Tonight:

“The pair went for a short swim, hugged and had lots of body contact in the pool. They kept to one side of the pool where there was the most covering from prying eyes.”

Also, Spade and Rivera spent an hour “on lounge chairs and talked animatedly.”

Mmmm, “body contact in the pool.” *makes handjob motion*

The two met through friends and have been getting to know each other. *makes another blow job motion*

Rivera posted selfies in a bikini recently. Spade is lucky as hell.

Is no one mentioning the 22-year age difference? That is a new trend in Hollywood. Jennifer Lawrence and her boyfriend, Darren Aronofsky, also have a 22-year age gap.

Rivera’s only 30. In other words, she has no idea what Tommy Boy is.

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