That Time Sean Penn Told Tom Cruise to Fire His Co-Star If She Didn’t F**k Him

The kicker is that the co-star was a woman. Hey ohhh!

This is all according to Curtis Armstrong, who played Booger in Revenge of the Nerds. He’s got a book coming out, Revenge of the Nerd: Or . . . The Singular Adventures of the Man Who Would Be Booger. One story from the book involves himself, Sean Penn and Tom Cruise.

They were all having breakfast. At the time, Cruise was filming Risky Business. He was bitching to Penn about his co-star Rebecca De Mornay and complained:

“She directs me. Constantly. How I should deliver lines, character stuff…”

Penn replied:

“Character stuff? She’s giving you notes? Tell her to f**k off.”…

Tom was still smiling. “Yeah…” his voice trailed off. Then, “I’d love to f**k her though.

“So?” Sean said, now moving to nearby tables, taking those placemats and with focused deliberation, adding them to the pile. “F**k her.”

Tom laughed. “I can’t f**k her,” he said, and I could swear he was blushing. “I’d like to, though.”

Penn finally told Cruise to give an ultimatum to De Mornay:

“Just tell her either she fucks you or she’s off the picture.”

Hollywood. Love it. Eventually, Cruise and De Mornay dated for two years, so looks like De Mornay did what she needed to keep that role.

Later on, Booger wrote in a diary entry:

“Tom and Rebecca are having it off in grand style. In my naïveté I thought it wasn’t all that serious, but last night Shera [a Risky Business co-star] and I interrupted them and threw ice over the bed.

“We had, the four of us, a party in the bar tonight, during which we danced and stripped. It was the best floorshow in that bar since I’ve been there…”

Orgy. You know that definitely happened.

Penn denied the story through his publicist, but what else is he gonna say?