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KFC Selling Meteorite Chicken Sandwiches Now

The most expensive sandwich I ever ate was a $19 Reuben I got in New York’s East Village. Was it good? Yeah, it was really good. Was it $19 good? I don’t know man, but I’ve got no regrets. If I purchased what KFC is selling though, I may feel a bit differently.

KFC, a company that loves selling kitschy merchandise, recently got their claws on an honest chunk of meteorite. Rather than enjoying the celestial object for what it is, or selling it in its natural state, they decided to use it to make art. Er, uh, “art.”

The Colonel’s chicken company carved that priceless space rock into a sandwich. Not just any sandwich. The KFC Zinger sandwich, which is usually available for $5 with wedges, a cookie, and a drink. The space remixed sandwich though will cost you a bit more. Something more in the range of $20,000.

First of all, who allowed this to happen? Meteorites are rare and precious on Earth, and turning them into a facsimile of gross fast food is an abomination against nature, art, and the cosmos. Second, who buys sandwiches at KFC? If I hate myself enough to go into the second or third best chicken selling fast food chain, I’m gonna buy a bucket of chicken, not a slightly-worse-than-Wendy’s sandwich.

Whoever buys this atrocity needs to be arrested, and their money taken away and re-purposed to end world hunger. They clearly aren’t responsible enough to know what to do with it.

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