Madonna Keeps her Panties Off the Auction Block… For Now

Madonna has won a temporary injunction to halt the sale 22 of the roughly 120 personal artifacts being offered at a rock n’ roll auction hosted by Sotheby’s. I’m not sure on what grounds the hold was issued, but I assume calling Madonna’s music “rock” is some sort of felony. Some of the items pulled include a hairbrush with her hair still in it and a pair of used panties, in case you wanted to glue her hair to a sex doll and then give the doll HPV.

More notably pulled is a letter her former boyfriend Tupac Shakur wrote to her from prison in which Tupac tells her dating a white woman would be bad for his image. Of course, I’m not too sure about Tupac’s judgement. ┬áThis is a guy who thought hanging out with Suge Knight was a really good idea, and look at how that turned out.

The items that were pulled were furnished by Madonna’s former art buyer Darlene Lutz. Madonna claims Lutz stole these items from her home, while Lutz claims she got Madonna’s worn panties from a former boyfriend of Madonna’s whom she had mailed them to.

Madonna was also disturbed that someone might take her DNA from the strands of hair on her brush and do… I’m not exactly sure what. Aside from having it sequenced there’s not a whole lot we can do with DNA given today’s level of technology and expertise. As much as I’d love to see some sort of Madonna-themed Jurassic Park with giant slags roaming through a forest pretending to be British and inappropriately using the N-word, we just aren’t there yet.

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