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Goat Yoga is Real, And It’s as Dumb as You Hoped

I just learned that goat yoga is a thing and between that and hipsters not vaccinating their dogs because of autism, I’m going to need a one year moratorium on any further white nonsense. That means no new Starbucks flavors, no Josh Groban albums and no… pretty much anything on E!.

So what is goat yoga, you ask? It’s exactly like regular yoga only there are some goats running around. Personally, I work hard to make money so I can do my leisure activities in a place that doesn’t have goats running around.

As reported by NBC4 in L.A.:

About two weeks ago, Laughing Frog Yoga in Santa Monica became one of the first LA studios to get involved with the nation’s growing goat yoga trend. During the studio’s classes, two baby Nigerian dwarf goats, Pippin and Spanky, climb on people’s backs, run between their legs and, sometimes, chew on their hair as they work through Vinyasa poses.

The studio’s first event sold out in about ten minutes and goat yoga classes throughout August are already filled, according to owner Kareem Mitha.

Mitha said that, at 25 pounds each, the six-month-old goats help yoga-lovers get a better core workout when they stand on people’s backs, but they’re mostly there for the laughs.

This kind of shit is why Donald Trump is president, you know. People in Middle America hear about idiots in California doing goat yoga and they think, “I’m going to vote for the worst possible candidate just to show these assholes they can’t out-moron me!”

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I hope you didn’t get paid to write this junk, #EricKarnes Then again, #UselessContent seems to be your specialty having also penned “Sticking Your Penis in Coconuts Isn’t a Good Idea” and “The Dick Church is Real, But it Didn’t Spring a Leak”. Got your first writing job while still in junior high? Kudos! If you don’t want to spend your “hard earned money” (writing this crap isn’t hard earned, BTW) doing leisure activities “in a place that …[has] goats running around” then DON’T go! Goat Yoga is not about having a goat on your back and strengthening your core.… Read more »

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