After a hard day of doing terror, Osama bin Laden apparently liked to unwind by jacking it to anime porn. At least that’s what we can piece together from the list of files found on bin Laden’s computer, taken during the raid by Seal Team 7 that killed the al Qaeda leader. While policy wonks go over all the documents about how terror-ey he was, the rest of us can sift through all the weird pop culture bin Laden soaked up while he was in hiding, including Bible Black, an anime porno movie about high school students who use satanic black magic to get laid.
I was especially amused to see that he had Antz. Now, the childrens’ movies were presumably to entertain the children in the compound, but bin Laden was the head of an organization that was always talking about how “the Jews control all the money” and wanting to destroy Israel, but he has a Woody Allen movie, and there’s really no one in the world more Jewish than Woody Allen.
If you want a real laugh, he also apparently watched the 9/11 “truther” video Loose Change, which posits that George W. Bush faked 9/11. A conspiracy theory that, while not actually true, got a boost from the release of the JFK documents last week that showed the CIA had planned to carry out fake terror attacks and blame Cuba as a pretext for invading and removing Castro from power.
There’s a Twitter account tweeting all the image files found on bin Laden’s computer, and while most of them appear to be terrorist memes, there are some real treasures here.
So what else did bin Laden have on his computer? Would you believe lots and lots of anime video games? Naruto, One Piece, Dragon Ball… these are games bin Laden played. Okay, so, bin Laden himself probably wasn’t playing these games. The compound in Abbottabad was the home not just to him, but to an entire large family that lived with him, one that included several children. Presumably those children, and not the world’s most wanted terrorist, were the Dragon Ball fans. But we can dream, right? Dream of a world where bin Laden was sitting around his compound watching Naruto and Charlie Bit My Finger and playing Counterstrike with a waifu body pillow.
he was an anime gamer, I'm fucking DEAD pic.twitter.com/KrbgSfT6Fo
— Chris Higgins 🔚 (@higgyC) November 1, 2017
they say osama bin laden had final fantasy vii . . . yeah, i believe it pic.twitter.com/fRMSue3MhF
— tim rogers (@108) November 2, 2017
we have to embrace the fact that Osama bin Laden might well have watched footage of 9/11 overlaid with the Wallace and Gromit theme tune
— 🇵🇸Chloe Adams 🩷🐦 (@addamschloe) November 2, 2017
Who was Osama bin Laden's waifu?
— (IT/ITS) Arkhiereú Зара🫶A CREATURE NOT A PERSON (@deathpigeon) November 2, 2017
It was obviously Asuka, right? She’s clearly best girl.