You Can Now Get Stoned With Monica Lewinsky

Man, the 90’s were a very different time. For one thing, when a neoliberal corporate warmonger Clinton ran for president against someone who was rich but borderline retarded, they actually won. And when that same 49-year-old Clinton used his office to have sex with his 22-year-old subordinate, we all called her a whore and said the worst thing he did was lie about it. Nowadays people are trying to get Matt Damon fired from doing movies forever for saying putting your hand on someone’s waist isn’t rape, so maybe we over-corrected a bit.

Anyway, that 22-year-old intern, Monica Lewinsky, grew up to be an anti-cyberbullying campaigner. And presumably in recognition of that and not the fact that she once blew the President in the Oval Office, Monica Lewinsky is getting our nation’s highest honor, a strain of weed named after her.

Yes, the fine folks at Sugarleaf Farm revealed on Facebook that they’re calling a new strain of weed “Monica Lewinsky”. I presume it got this name because it’s good for rolling a blunt. Get it? Because the President of the United States stuck a cigar in her barely-legal vagina. Which, by the way, who does that? I don’t see how that improves the sex or the cigar.

Lewinsky didn’t comment on her award, but she did make a tweet showing how she spent her Christmas.

Hey, Alan Cumming, famous actor, singer, and Scottish person! By the way, Sugarleaf Farms was right, Monica does look sexy as all get out. Call me girl, we’ll party. Unfortunately, the closest I’ll probably come to partying with Monica is if I buy some of this weed, which is a reasonable $104 for a half.

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