Vince McMahon Is Going to Fail at Football for a Second Time

THE XFL IS BACK, BABY!

For those you who don’t remember the XFL, it was Vince McMahon’s failed attempt to enter the world of professional football. The league lasted for one season and was best known for pre-game fights for the ball instead of a coin toss and a dude wearing a jersey with the name “He Hate Me.”

McMahon lost millions on the deal.

So, of course he would try to bring it back. If you’ve been watching wrestling your entire life like I have, you know Vince’s golden rule: If at first you don’t succeed, force it down their throats until they accept it.

Vince will re-launch the XFL in 2020 without all the gimmicks that made it cool in the first place.

“I wanted to do this since the day we stopped the other one,” McMahon told ESPN in an exclusive interview. “A chance to do it with no partners, strictly funded by me, which would allow me to look in the mirror and say, ‘You were the one who screwed this up,’ or ‘You made this thing a success.'”

Oh, Vince. You’re going to screw this up. The whole world knows you’re going to screw this up. You can barely do professional wrestling well right now. There’s no way you’re going to run a professional football league with inferior talent. Americans want to watch the best compete. The Arena Football League was awesome, but died because everyone knew it was an inferior product with lesser players.

McMahon said that he would like games to last two hours. Sure, he’ll reduce football games by an hour but when it comes to wrestling, we’re still stuck with three hours of Raw every week.

The league will feature eight teams. There are no owners of the teams. Vince owns everything.

“I can say, ‘Here are the rules, and as long as you are playing football in the stadium for us, you follow these rules.'”

This man is amazing. His need for power and control is a big reason why the WWE product is so bland nowadays. But hey, I’m sure this will go over well in the football world.

The league will feature no gimmicks and will not give players a platform to discuss social issues. ALL FOOTBALL! ALL THE TIME!

This is going to fail spectacularly. And then Vince will try to relaunch the World Bodybuilding Federation.