The 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Games basically not having hockey has given us a lot of time to explore the things going on in and around the games, because no one honestly gives a s**t about figure skating. One of the things that people noticed in between rounds of mixed doubles curling and robot skiing is that there are some weird statues of giant penises with human bodies outside the Olympic Village. And the bodies of the statues also have penises, which aren’t giant but look like they get the job done.
Yeah, that’s going to haunt my nightmares. Hal Sparks, who you may remember from that VH1 show where he remembered things, pointed out that the statues are meant to be a comment on modern media, sort of a less-horrifying version of Gangnam Style.
Clearly the South Koreans are masters of shade.
This is their opinion of modern “media” 😂🤣😂 https://t.co/KtMX2PB2RT
— Hal Sparks (@HalSparks) February 13, 2018
Of course, the penis statues turned out to be incredibly popular in Japan, the country that gave us tentacle porn and Cho Aniki.
Yeah, that’s a real shoot-em-up from Japan in the ’90s. Now these new horrifying penis-men have inspired all sorts of memes on Twitter under the hashtag #モルゲッソヨ, which is the Japanese spelling of the Korean phrase “I don’t know.”
"Moreugesseoyo statues" at Pyeongchang 2018 venues go viral as every tourist guide answers "Moreugesseoyo(I have no idea)." when asked about the bullet-man sculptures.#モルゲッソヨ #모르겠어요 https://t.co/XVvX2Qmm47
— しんじ@理科実験あそびプロジェクト復興のためお仕事承り中 (@oekakimaestro) February 9, 2018
Horror Game Version #人面鳥 #モルゲッソヨhttps://t.co/2U8SFYN4MB pic.twitter.com/SCxWgnbHM5
— KSY827 (@KSY827_2) February 10, 2018
4枚溜まりました( ´∀`) pic.twitter.com/8TPiiiniw3
— デンプシーロールケーキ🐳低浮上 (@mudamudamudarol) February 13, 2018
Honestly, I have no idea who the people in these pictures are, but the speed-lines make it hilarious to me anyway.
@Olympics thank you for bringing us #モルゲッソヨ ! #Olympics2018 #PeyongChang2018 #DarthHelmet pic.twitter.com/RJwDcrpMet
— Mike Hunter (@diabolical_mdog) February 13, 2018
Aww, the weird dick man is making friends with Serval.
#モルゲッソヨ
お気に入りすぎて画像フォルダに保存しただろうがwwwwwwwwww pic.twitter.com/2qd4AnbwI4— 🏆💗にゅうちゃん™(5才)💗 (@sthuuall) February 9, 2018
This one is a reference to how manga in Japan uses small bars to avoid running afoul of Japanese pornography laws, along with a reference to the super-popular Japanese RPG series Dragon Quest.
ディグダさん…?? #モルゲッソヨ pic.twitter.com/qkKKRCeTMm
— みくろん (@93_wednesday) February 9, 2018
Speaking of popular Japanese RPG series… Are the penis man statues actually Diglettes? SInce there’s three of them, I guess they’d be a Dugtrio.
Look, it’s the Silver Surfer. Jack Kirby would be proud. Maybe. He probably wouldn’t give a s**t.
ガンダム・モルゲッソヨ作りました#モルゲッソヨ pic.twitter.com/v3xGJWAcfd
— 醤油皿 (@syouyuzara) February 9, 2018
That’s my favorite, it’s a GM from Mobile Suit Gundam.
By the way, about an hour outside the olympics you can see a huge number of statues of cocks without human bodies.
South Korea's 'penis park,' a monument to fertility, born from a legend about a virgin and fish https://t.co/Wi2jhN1Fba by @pearswick @HeekyongYang. More from #PyeongChang2018: https://t.co/pV87KeJ4Io pic.twitter.com/ZhJKh4Yquo
— Reuters (@Reuters) February 13, 2018
I don’t know, it kind of loses something now. After all that Japanese fanart, I’m kind of mad my dick doesn’t have a human body with its own dick on it now.