Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn’s Relationship Is Part of a Large Secret Plot

Aside from writing multiple songs about him, Taylor Swift has kept Joe Alwyn out of her public life. How does the biggest pop star in the world keep her relationship private? Well, for starters, she doesn’t allow him out in public wearing an “I <3 TS” shirt.

But it goes well beyond that.

According to E! News, she takes a private jet to London. Then takes a private car to Alwyn’s house. Alright, that’s not too unusual. But she goes a step further by rarely going out in public with Alwyn. Instead, they have a bunch of Netflix and chill nights.

Taylor has met his family. Everyone approves of everyone. Blah blah blah. They seem very happy.


What is she really hiding? Something has to be wrong with him for her to be this secretive. Don’t worry, folks. Jennifer Lawrence and I, of the famous JLaw and JLam Spy Services agency, will get to the bottom of this. First, we will find out if Swift and Karlie Kloss are still friends. Next, we will solve the mystery of Joe Alwyn.

We’re already starting to learn more about Swift’s relationship with Alwyn. And it’s not surprising that this most recent news is coming from E! You know E!, the network partially owned by the Kardashians. Swift wants to keep her romance a secret and here is the Kardashian network out here trying to expose them.

Let these two lovebirds live in peace. Unless it’s Jennifer Lawrence and I working together to find their secrets. There is no malicious intent behind our research. We’re two concerned friends. E! Network on the other hand. They’re just trying to line the Kardashian pockets.

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17 Comments on "MET Costume Institute Gala 2016"

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Nah. The song is so immature and outright stupid that Kanye is probably somewhere laughing his ass off.

Thao Truong

dont be jealous…that song basically says it all. its genius…how else is it breaking record…if it sucked then everyone would say so….revenge comes in everyway and she got hers by being top of the list…lets see all her haters get there like taylor did. NOTTTT


She could have released a track of her farting and it’d be #1. With her, that’s not a good demonstration of if it being a good song.


It’s genius? It’s not even music.
This generic crap wouldn’t have managed to be a B-side on a Madonna single 20 years ago.


Funny, She sold out 5 nights at the Staple Center for 1989 which seated a total of 86,000 people, She has sold 120,000 tickets in the Rose Bowl so far for the “Reputation”. I doubt he is laughing to loud, he made $31,745,967 on his Saint Pablo Tour, she sold $180,000,000 worth of tickets the first week.


Remember when Taylor wrote poppy country songs…?

Shawn Cicero

wow people are nutty stalkers


Pretend to like her fans? Bwhahahahahahaha you are fucking pathetic.


who the hell are you guys? no names, just jealous of her fame and success. But who can blame you? You do this for green.

Sinead McGowan

ooooh Taylor’s army

Atomic Rat

oh my fucking god !!!!!!

she’s so existential… she’s so multidimensional… she’s so fucking awesomely…. banal and pedantic.

So you really don’t have to have anything one the ball other than a good PR firm and a fair agent to be a success as a pop star.

I didn’t believe them. It’s still hard to believe.


That girl is too high maintenance and a loon.

Atomic Rat

Sailor Twit – the rally face of the nazi generation.

Nice one. The one trick pony and the goosesteppers.

Sieg Heil, frau Taylor. I see you’re on to your next crossover genre.

Not Telling

The only racist here is you. It consumes you to the point of you making retarded comments like this.


“Except, anyone can join. Even if they are not, wait for it, fans of Taylor.” How would a phone app know whether or not someone is a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s it going to do, read all your archived text messages to see if you talk about Miss Swift with your friends and determine if you said positive or negative things about her?

Perry de Havilland

“Taylor has been criticized by just about everyone for not speaking for or against Trump”

Yeah Taylor is missing a beat here, I mean we all just *love* to be lectured by sage-like showbiz celebrities about politics, right?


1/3rd of the country supports being mean and fueling drama, while the other 2/3rds has had enough. So Taylor’s drama filled, passive aggressive, mean girl behavior is no longer tolerated by most. Most of us had enough of Taylor & people like her.

Thai Wu

No doubt she will sell out if her rich father and rich close business connections buy them up to save her REPUTATION.

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