Shia Labeouf Is Self-Aware Enough to Know He’s a F**k-Up

Now that Shia LaBeouf is out of rehab, he’s decided that the best way to reform his image is to stop calling people “pirate bitches” and join the rest of the world in shitting on Shia LaBeouf. According to Entertainment Tonight, he said that even though he’s playing John McEnroe in a movie he’s no John McEnroe.

“McEnroe was a master at his rage,” he says. “I’m a buffoon. My public outbursts are failures. They’re not strategic. They’re a struggling motherf**ker showing his a** in front of the world.”

The ass is less of a problem then saying dumb racist s**t is, really. But at least LeBeouf got to the root of his problems in rehab.

LaBeouf says he was diagnosed with PTSD at rehab, stemming from childhood trauma. The actor says he overheard his mother being raped when the two lived in a seedier part of Los Angeles.

“The first time I got arrested with a real charge, it stemmed from the same sh**,” he explains. “Some guy bumped into my mother’s car with his car in a parking lot, and my head went right to ‘You need to avenge your mother!’ So I went after the dude with a knife. … I’ve always thought somebody was coming in. My whole life.”

I can see how that would f**k you up. But he does own up to his Mel Gibsonian rant when he was arrested.

“What went on in Georgia was mortifying,” he says. “White privilege and desperation and disaster… It came from a place of self-centered delusion… It was me trying to absolve myself of guilt for getting arrested. I f**ked up.”

Now that he’s out of rehab, LaBeouf is looking to reconnect with friend Kanye West, mainly because he needs something to wear and Kanye has all his stuff.

“Around the same time, I took my mother to his concert,” LaBeouf shares. “She is, of course, obsessed with Kanye West. When I brought her backstage, he was a f**king sweetheart to her. And it just felt fair. So I’m like, ‘Go for it, my guy. Take everything you want.’ And he did. He took all my f**king clothes. Me and him haven’t really been in contact since he blew up onstage and, you know, sh** on me.”

“I f**king love Kanye West,” he notes. “He’s going through a lot. And I don’t know where he’s at or what he’s doing.”

“The dude has a lot of my sh**,” he adds.

Well, let’s hope Shia gets his s**t back together so that he can be available when Disney wants to reboot Even Stevens. I wouldn’t mind if he kept saying “pirate bitch”, though, that’s my favorite phrase.

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