Robin Thicke and April Love Geary Are Engaged

Robin Thicke strikes me as a guy who is super confident in his own sexuality. What other explanation could there be for filming a music video about how you want to f**k and filling it with topless women and, I’m not joking about this next part, a balloon arrangement that says “Robin Thicke Has A Big Dick.” Like, are we meant to believe that the women he’s paying to walk around with their tits out just put that there as a thank you?

Maybe not safe for work. You know, because of the boobs.

Whatever he was selling in that video may not have worked to keep Paula Patton around, but April Love Geary is buying it because she announced the couple got engaged over the Christmas holiday.

Man, he released that whole album trying to get Paula Patton back and now he’s with someone half her age. He’s like one of those guys that fails upwards his entire life and turns bankrupting multiple casinos into being president.

That is the sort of huge-ass tree you buy when no one other than balloons you bought yourself have ever said you have a big dick.

Seriously, look at the two of them. How did he not get around to locking that down sooner. Also, why are his nipples so small? I know male nipples don’t serve a purpose, but that’s just freaky.

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