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President Trump Orders Investigation into Jussie Smollett, Smollett’s Attorney Says Nigerian Attackers ‘Could Have Worn Whiteface’

I really wanted to be done talking about Jussie Smollett. Nope. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! By “they,” in this case, I mean the President of the United States, who tweeted about the case because I clearly did something to anger a god I don’t even believe in.

NBC confirmed the investigation is taking place.

Federal officials confirmed to NBC News that the Justice Department is reviewing the Smollett case and how it was handled, though expectations were low Thursday that any federal action would be taken.

Also mad about this was Chicago Mayor and former Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. If you’re wondering why Smollett keeps making increasingly unbelievable claims about finding the real MAGA hate crimers, it’s because the city of Chicago is demanding Smollett pay them $130,000 for the investigation they carried out. That’s a lot more than the $10,000 bond he forfeited to skate on his charges in the first place.

Now, the good thing about Smollett is he’s pissing off all the right people. Trump, Rahm Emanuel, the Chicago P.D. If one of the Clintons makes a statement disparaging him I’m going to donate to his Kickstarter.  The bad thing, though, is that he and his legal team think we’re all idiots. They’re telling us to our face they think we’re idiots. Listen to what his attorney Tina Glandian said on Today, via Mediaite:

“Well, you know, I mean, I think there’s — obviously, you can disguise that. You can put makeup on. There is, interestingly enough, a video. You know, I think police had minimal investigation in this case, it took me only five minutes to Google. You know, I was looking up the brothers, and one of the videos that showed up actually was of the brothers in whiteface doing a joker monologue with white makeup on him. So, it’s not — it’s not implausible.”

That is just disrespectful right there. That is like telling me that Spider-Man really died in Avengers: Infinity War even though we all know there’s a Spider-Man movie coming out like two weeks later. You may as well just spit in my face.

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