Pete Davidson Ranted at a College Audience Like He’s Your Crazy Boomer Uncle

I knew Pete Davidson was a baby boomer. He says he’s like, 25 or something, but what 25-year-old gets on stage to do stand-up and has a prolonged, five minute nervous breakdown about “you damn kids and your mobile phones!” Also, look at the guy, he looks 50.

Page Six had exclusive coverage of Pete’s senior moment.

“That’s what’s f–ked up. You were the one filming. That’s right, we’re embarrassing. That’s why the world is going to end in 25 years because you’re all f–king retarded,” Davidson, 25, ranted at Monday’s show. “I meant it that way, idiots. You should f–king grow up. It says no phones. … You’re just supposed to just like behave. I have to have my boy patrol you guys like you’re 5 years old? That’s f–king embarrassing.

Uh-oh, Pete did an ableism. That’s a cancellin’.

The audience was not impressed with his rant or the rest of his act.

The University of Central Florida was also unimpressed.

The university called Davidson’s behavior “disappointing” and told Page Six in a statement, “Mr. Davidson’s abusive language, particularly his use of a derogatory slur, is contrary to the University of Central Florida’s values of inclusion and respect for all. It’s disappointing that his rant spoiled an event that was meant to welcome students back for the fall semester.”

See, he used the bad retard word, he’s in trouble. He’s going to have to have his buddy, the one-eyed Congressdipshit who loves Donald Trump, come and protect him.

To be fair to Pete, he’s painfully unfunny, so making an ass of himself is probably the best way to get some laughs. Or he could just come out and lip-sync to an album by a better comedian. Patton Oswalt, Ellen DeGeneres, David Cross, Louis C.K., John Mulaney, Amy Schumer, Mitch Hedberg, Maria Bamford, Jim Gaffigan… these are all comics whose albums I’d rather listen to for the fiftieth time than see Pete Davidson do stand-up live.