The Pope is a Saints Fan. Presumably God, as Well

Here’s a fun fact about Twitter: just because you can hashtag something doesn’t mean you should. For example, take this tweet from Meredith Salinger about how she also loves her husband, Patton Oswalt.

Me too! #metoo

— Meredith Salenger (@MeredthSalenger) December 29, 2017

Was the hashtag “me too” being used for anything else in late 2017? Yes, yes it was. Those little multiethnic arms weren’t all saying Patton Oswalt stirs their loins.

It turns out that even god’s infallible agent, Pope Francis, is prone to making this sort of mistake. No, not about being forced on to Harvey Weinstein’s casting couch, in this case il Papa was simply tweeting to express his joy at having canonized some new saints.

Today we give thanks to the Lord for our new #Saints. They walked by faith and now we invoke their intercession.

— Pope Francis (@Pontifex) October 13, 2019

I’m not sure because like most Catholics I haven’t been to church since I was a child (and no, I wasn’t) and am actually an atheist, but I think this means God has to root for the New Orleans Saints now. They did beat the Jaguars, so don’t knock it.

If you’re not Catholic and you don’t know what saints are, Catholics ask the saints to pray on their behalf because God has a lot of s**t do making planets and black holes and dark matter and planting dinosaur bones to trick you into worshiping the devil (just kidding, Catholics believe in science) so he needs like, cosmic secretaries. And if you’re pure enough of soul and deed you can get a sweet gig in heaven answering the phones. For example, after St. Erasmus was tortured and eventually vivisected by the Romans for being a Christian, he got to be the guy you shoot off a prayer to after eating a bad burrito. Still probably better than the alternative.