‘Penis Man’ Graffiti Artist Has Tagged His Last Penis

Dustin Shomer, that man responsible for tagging “Penis Man” across buildings in Tempe Arizona, has finally been brought to justice!

Tempe police confirm that Shomer – who looks exactly like you imagine someone tagging “Penis Man” everywhere would look – was arrested on sixteen counts of aggravated criminal damage, eight counts of criminal damage and one count of criminal trespassing in the first degree.

While all of this is mildly amusing, Shomer’s account of the incident is a little disturbing. Phoenix News Times reports that Shomer took to Facebook to lament his arrest.

“I just spent the last 24 hours in Tempe and Phoenix police custody for spraying ‘Penis Man’. “They raided my condo and vehicle and swarmed my entire complex in west Phoenix with 25 heavily armed SWAT officers, and pointed a silenced assault rifle in my face.

“Anyone with any doubt who the bad guys are here … be certain it is the City of Tempe, City of Phoenix, and police forces valleywide. There is no excuse for pointing an AR-15 in the face of a non-violent offender.”

It’s not the first time we’ve read about this kind of excessive use of force, but it’s difficult to believe the word of an adult that spray paints “Penis Man” on historic buildings. He didn’t do himself any favors with the cops in his Facebook post either:

“For the record, I hate the institution of the police. But, I do not think every single cop is a bastard. To say they all are, is imo, stooping to their level of profiling. Some of the detectives I met seemed to be genuine penis man fans.”

The real victims of this arrest are the press who can no longer write catchy headlines like, “Penis Man Getting Cocky,” and “Penis Man Penetrates New Areas.”

With this scourge off the streets, Tempe police can finally focus on real criminals like jaywalkers and little kids selling lemonade without a license. Don’t cry for our hero either, though his charges seem serious they will most likely be reduced, and he will walk with some community service and probation.

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