Britney Spears Says She’s Faster Than Usain Bolt

My name is Britney Spears, and I am the fastest woman alive. To the outside world, I’m an ordinary forensic scientist, but secretly, with the help of my friend at S.T.A.R Labs, I fight crime and find other meta-humans like me. But I became lost in time. It took everything in my friend’s power to bring me back, and in doing so our world was opened up to new threats. And I am the only one fast enough to stop them. I am the Flash.

Britney Spears just claimed to be the fastest person in the world, and by quite a bit. The current world record for the 100 meter is 9.58 seconds, held by Usain Bolt. Spear claimed to have run it in 5.97 seconds on Instagram.

She deleted the post but Page Six had the details.

“Ran my first 5 !!!!” she captioned a now-deleted screenshot of a stopwatch timer displaying 5.97 seconds. “Getting over your fear of pushing it in the beginning is key …. once I did that I hit 5 !!!!! Usually I run 6 or 7 …. my first try was 9 …. and now I did it whoop !!!!! 100 meter dash.”

Spears followed up later to say she was joking.

I don’t get the joke here. Why delete it if it was a joke? It’s like shooting someone in the shoulder and then going “haha dude, I pranked you!”

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3 years ago

Fastest woman alive, not faster than Usain Bolt!

3 years ago
Reply to  Alejandro

Oops, didn’t read the whole thing!