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Madonna Refuses to be Less of a Dumb Asshole, Sources Say

It seems that Madonna is pretty dead set on the whole “being a stupid asshole who everybody hates” thing that she’s been doing for the past forty years or so. And even thought the people closest to her are telling her to ix-nay on the unt-kay act, Page Six reports she’s having none of it.

“I worshipped her, we all did,” said someone who has worked with Madonna in recent years and has ties to her inner circle. “I still do, but I’m disappointed. It’s like she’s selling out to keep getting attention and she doesn’t know how weird she’s coming off. I keep hoping she’ll snap out of it.”

Let’s be honest here, “selling out to keep getting attention” basically describes Madonna’s entire life. When she was in high school, before she was famous, she was basically know for being the really smart girl who was constantly flashing her panties. That’s 100% true, by the way.

Some insiders believe this is because her publicist Liz Rosenberg retired a few years ago.

“No one around her today can tell her anything,” said Brad Jeffries, who choreographed for Madonna for years, including the “Like a Virgin” tour, and was also friends with Rosenberg. “Liz could, but she’s gone. That’s why [Madonna] seems to be going so deep into the crazy right now. I defend her right to sleep with 25-year-olds because if she were a 61-year-old guy sleeping with 25-year-old women no one would blink an eye. But the way she’s doing it comes off a little desperate.”

Yeah, sleeping with people half your age to stick it to your ex is the least-crazy thing Madonna has done in recent years. It’s really the running around with a British accent and an eyepatch like she’s auditioning for Pirates of the Caribbean.

The good news, then, is that while this COVID-19 lockdown has us all inside and bored and going a little crazy, Madonna will still be doing dumb shit for us to laugh at.

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