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Some Very Admirable People Want to Rename Columbus, Ohio after Guy Fieri

I really don’t want to like Guy Fieri. It’s easy enough not to like him when you watch his TV shows, I mean for god’s sake the man calls aioli “donkey sauce.” If you’re going to act the way he acts on his shows, you could at least have the decency to be a shifty person so we can all hate you and move on.

Guy Fieri, though, is a good person. A really good person. He’s given millions of dollars of his own money to support restaurant workers affected by the coronavirus, stood up for gay rights and even did what he could to help the victims and responders of the 2018 California wildfires. It’s just a shame he’s such a douche.

Still, douche or not he’s still a better person that Christopher Columbus.

And that’s why one man, Tyler Woodbridge, has started a petition to rename Columbus, Ohio to Flavortown, Ohio in honor of Fieri.

Beloved Buckeyes one and all,

Columbus is an amazing city, but one whose name is tarnished by the very name itself. Its namesake, Christopher Columbus, is in The Bad Place because of all his raping, slave trading, and genocide. That’s not exactly a proud legacy.

Why not rename the city Flavortown? The new name is twofold. For one, it honors Central Ohio’s proud heritage as a culinary crossroads and one of the nation’s largest test markets for the food industry. Secondly, cheflebrity Guy Fieri was born in Columbus, so naming the city in honor of him (he’s such a good dude, really) would be superior to its current nomenclature.

I’m not up to date on my Columbus town charter, so whether it takes a council vote or a petition or a town referendum – let’s get the ball rolling for a more flavorful tomorrow.

Woodbridge is, let’s call it what it is, a Real American Hero. And hell, if Flavortown is too weird a name, Woodbridge, Ohio has a nice ring to it.
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