Someone Actually Left Their Spouse for Pharmadouche Martin Shkreli

I’ve never really understood how Russell Brand is considered something of a sex symbol. There’s really nothing about his face, body, or personality that does it for me, and it boggles my mind how so many women find that whole situation attractive.

Russell Brand looks like he was carved out of marble by a dead Greek guy next to Martin Shkreli, however. Shkreli is most famous for buying the license to make the drug Daraprim and jacking the price from $13 to $750 and later getting sent to jail for securities fraud unrelated to the drug price fiasco. He also looks like a pile of oily rags someone stuck a pair of glasses on in the corner of a strip club.

But, Shkreli is a slimy, disgusting felon with money and that’s all it takes for some women to quit their jobs and leave their husbands, apparently. At least if you’re Christie Smythe, a reporter covering Shkreli’s case who fell in love with him because what’s not to love about that guy.

But it didn’t work out because even Martin Shkreli doesn’t want a conjugal visit from the kind of woman who could love Martin Shkreli. People reports that Shkreli had his lawyers dump her for him, simply saying “Mr. Shkreli wishes Ms. Smythe the best of luck in her future endeavors.”

Imagine getting dumped by Martin Shkreli while he’s in prison. Think about his ugly little weasel face saying “You know, everyone in the world with two brain cells to rub together hates me and it’ll basically be five more years before I have any access to any other women. Still… no.”

That’s not even the funny part. This is the funny part.

“It’s a little depressing and saddening because I don’t like being called ‘the victim,’ ‘mentally ill’: neither of those things are accurate,” she said. “I respect and understand if people criticize my decisions. That’s fair. I put it out there. It’s fair game. But I made these choices very consciously.”

She added: “In a weird way, in an almost a sociological way, it’s interesting watching the threads of attack, and looking for sexism buried in the themes and all these struggles people have with someone just coming up and saying they love him.””Like the mental illness thing, like the victim thing, like ‘He conned you,'” she said. “I mean, people can have whatever opinion they want. I can’t do anything about it. But it is all somehow trying to get around the fact that I am not what they expected. I think people have a certain image of him in their heads, and I don’t fit what goes in that box; they’ve got to explain it somehow.”

She continued: “What feels very sexist to me is, why am I a victim? I chose to do this. There’s nothing bad that has happened to me other than a bunch of people being nasty to me online.”

I agree, Ms. Smythe is not a victim, she’s an idiot. Not everyone who sucks is mentally ill or being victimized, some people just suck. And if you’re professing your love for Martin Shkreli, you just suck. Why would anyone waste their time feeling sorry for this woman? Terrible taste in men is not a mental illness.

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