Kevin Federline

Before Kevin even received his divorce papers, Britney shut off his cell and canceled his credit cards. Now that K-Fed is no longer married to Ms. Moneybags, his well has finally run dry.

He and his entourage of eight wannabe rappers showed up at downtown burlesque joint Corio for a comped dinner that would have cost him $1,200, a source tells us. An eyewitness at the next table reports, “He just kept ordering more and more food and then asked for it to be put in containers so he could take the food out to the clubs with him. Then he started putting napkins in the tops of the tequila and vodka bottles and stuck them under his coat trying to sneak the liquor out with him. It was really unbelievable to watch.

Is pathetic the word for this? I’ve seen homeless people with more self-respect and trust me, they’re not picky people. No, this goes beyond pathetic. Ridiculous? Preposterous? Retarded? Scummy? I don’t think any of these are strong enough, but while you’re sitting there trying to think up of one that is, ask yourself why Kevin was even comped. Is Corio that out of the loop that they don’t know on the totem pole of life, K-Fed takes his place below the amoeba? Maybe they knew the person who spat in his food had a bad herpes outbreak that day. That sounds rational and sinister enough. If that’s the case, you are awesome Corio. Too bad I’ll never know since I’ve just scared myself into never eating there.