Of course, they weren’t Lindsay’s pants

The Insider spoke with a Lohan insider, Gina Glickman, who explained the events as they really happened. Gina claims Lindsay wasn’t drinking at all, but then she did. And she wasn’t chasing her assistant, she was being chased by the paparazzi. And those pants with the cocaine in them? Not even hers. They were someone else’s. Gina says,

• Lindsay was having a get together at her home. Several people will say she wasn’t drinking, that she didn’t even have a drink but at a certain point in the night, apparently, she fell off the wagon and did start drinking.
• When assistant Tarin Graham walked into the house, looking disheveled with teary red eyes, Lindsay was concerned that something had happened to her.
• There was some sort of altercation. Tarin either quit or Lindsay fired her. Tarin left and Lindsay followed.
• There were definitely two people in the car with Lindsay that night.
• Tarin’s mother apparently made a police call b/c she was afraid someone was chasing her.
• Right now, they don’t know who may have been chasing her. It could have been paparazzi.
• When the cops arrived, there were so many people in the parking lot that they automatically zeroed in on Lindsay. Apparently the altercation toook place at about 1:30 in the a.m.
• Lindsay was strong-armed into taking a breathalyzer test. They say the cocaine was not Lindsay’s, she was wearing someone else’s pants.

It all makes sense now. Not only is Lindsay an idiot, everyone around her is as well. I like the part about how Lindsay was strong-armed into taking a breathalyzer. Even better is the “someone else’s pants” theory. I want to be there when she uses that excuse and the whole courtroom points and laughs at her. It’ll probably be the first time a case is thrown out because the judge was rolling on the floor laughing for about 2 hours.