Lindsay Lohan

For her two DUIs, underage drinking, reckless driving and cocaine possession, Lindsay Lohan will serve 1 day in jail. Lindsay plead guilty today and the judge gave her a stern warning to “not associate with people with controlled substances.” What a meanie.

She just struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI (driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher). By law, Lohan becomes a second offender (with two DUIs) and must serve a minimum of four days in jail. But the judge cut that in half by ordering her to perform 10 days of community service in lieu of two of the days. He also gave Lindsay one day credit for time served when she was busted. That means she gets a grand total of one day in jail.

Take that Lindsay Lohan. You think you’re above the law, but you’re wrong. That’s right. A full day in jail. Ha! Now who’s laughing? And to other wayward starlets and socialites, let Lindsay serve as a reminder. Lady Justice is a whore.

Here’s the statement Lindsay released.

“It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.”

I can picture her laughing after writing this and emphatically giving the finger to imaginary people.