Hayden Panettiere

Hayden Panettiere was at the Chateau Marmont over the weekend having lunch and changing her sunglasses three times in a possible attempt at finding one that gave her the bug-eye look people in Hollywood love so much. Eventually, Ryan Gosling made his way over to her table (because bug-eyes are lovely this time of year) and they hugged a lot and exchanged numbers which apparently means they hooked up.

They always say celebrities are just like normal people even though they’re not. If you walked up to Hayden at Chateau Marmont, chatted her up and tried to hug her, guess how long it would take security to pounce on you and bend your arm at an angle even a contortionist would cringe at. By the time you handed Hayden your number you’d already be convulsing and defecating yourself from the 50 taserings you’d have gotten. Then there’s that saying that first impressions are the most important so you’re pretty much screwed. But, then again, crapping yourself while convulsing in front of a potential girlfriend is the worst thing that could happen so the next time you meet will be awesome. “My God, you’re not foaming at the mouth and covered in feces. Marry me you sexy man.”

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