Christina Applegate

In the beginning of August, Christina Applegate discovered she had an early form of breast cancer. In an interview airing today, Christina tells Good Morning America, “I’m clear. Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. It did not spread. They got everything out, so I’m definitely not going to die from breast cancer.”

Christina also reveals to GMA that she had a double mastectomy three weeks ago to completely rid herself of the cancer cells and will have reconstructive surgery.

“I’m going to have cute boobs ’til I’m 90, so there’s that,” she joked in the interview, which aired Tuesday. “I’ll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I’ll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table.”

Plastic surgeons are awesome. Fifty years ago, reconstruction would have made Christina’s breasts look Frankenstein-ish or Tara Reid-ish. Now we’re so advanced, you can have gel implants and they’ll feel like the real thing. I hear they’re even developing cup holders and flashlights for them now. Is there anything science can’t do?