Lindsay and Sam leave a club

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson rang in the New Year at club Mansion in Miami. They looked happy. But things aren’t always what they seem. The next day at Miami International Airport in the American Airlines Admirals Club, one source said, “Lindsay was so inconsolable the flight attendants asked if she’d like to disembark.”

Oh no, if America’s sweethearts can’t make it in this crazy world, then what hope is there for the rest of us? If Lindsay and Sam can’t work it out, can I ever have a normal relationship? With my dolls? What about if I put lipstick on them and name them? Will this humanize them more making it less weird when I tell people about my “girlfriends?” Hey, why are you backing away slowly?