John Mayer

At a recent taping of the Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ellen asked John if he often stays overnight at Jennifer Aniston’s house. John Mayer admitted that he did, but deemed them “sleepovers.” A term that often invokes visions of pajamas, all nighters, discussions of crushes and nail painting. All of which John was afraid to admit happened.

John also described Aniston’s $15 million Earth-friendly home. He relates that he has trouble with the six button light panel and would much prefer a simpler switch. Technology is scary.

“The top button is on and the button right below that one seems to be an air horn so in the middle of the night it very difficult,” he revealed. “I just want a switch that glows orange. Just give me a switch that glow orange and I can swing my arm up (and turn on the light). I don’t want a smart home.”

Me thinks it isn’t the sophistication of the panel that makes it so hard to find and operate. It’s the fact that the whole switch has been obscured by old photos of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Photos that have overlapped each other to the point that they’ve become the house’s wallpaper. Some people would call this obsessive and neurotic. But what do they know. They’re not the ones destined to be old maids.