Those puppy dog eyes aren't going to get you out of this one, buddy

Chris Brown wants to plea out, but only to a misdemeanor thus avoiding jail time. This is to be based on his argument that Rihanna hit him first, slapping and striking him “numerous times” while he was driving and that she fought back while he was beating the crap out of her.

This makes sense if you think about it. Clearly, Chris was only defending himself. He punched and bit her in a lopsided fight only because Rihanna was on him like an unstoppable pitbull. The pitter patter of her hands on his face seemed like the end for Chris at the time, but with perseverance he pulled through. Some could argue Chris Brown was a hero that night, taking down a vicious girlfriend weighing 40 pounds less than him whose barrage of slaps must have been the equivalent of being in a pillow fight.