Jessica Simpson is in Brazil

At first I was going to make a joke by pretending I was actually able to talk to the people in these photos and ask them, “Who’s that sexy girl?” Then I was going to tell Jessica to put her hand down and inform her I was talking about her friend in the red bikini bottom. Possibly also making a “rawr” sound like a seductive kitty cat.

That was when I was looking at the thumbnails and didn’t notice her friend’s humongous thighs. She looks like a mini T. Rex in the full size pic. Clearly, Jessica is still the sexier one. So, Jessica, you can put your hand up now when I ask, “Who’s that sexy girl?” No, really. It’s not a trick. I mean it this time.