Namely, Tila Tequila. San Diego Charger Shawn Merriman was arrested Sunday for battery and false imprisonment. Cops received a call from a woman, Tila Nguyen (Tila Tequila’s real name) at 3:45 a.m. who claimed Shawn choked and physically restrained her when she tried to leave his house. Curiously, that 4 foot midget was still able to get to a phone to dial 911 while being “physically restrained” by Shawn Merriman… a linebacker for the Chargers.

Merriman alleges that Tila was drunk off her ass and he was trying to keep her from driving. “I was trying to help, not hurt her. I’m still glad I did what I did,” said Merriman.

Nguyen wasn’t seriously hurt, said Jan Caldwell, a spokeswoman for the Sheriff’s Department.

“She was able to talk,” Caldwell said. “She was able to walk. She was mobile. She did not have any serious injuries that our deputies saw.”

Merriman and Nguyen had been at the Stingaree, a Gaslamp Quarter club, Saturday night. The club issued a statement, saying the couple had joined friends there for a birthday celebration. They stayed until closing in the early hours Sunday morning.

“They seemed in good spirits throughout the evening and were enjoying themselves,” the statement said. “There was no outward indication of any problem between the two of them.”

Whatever. Tila was probably drunk. She says she only had one drink when she got to the club, but look at her. You could fit her inside a thimble. One drink might be enough to give her alcohol poisoning.

Shawn should have let her drive regardless. Not in a real car on the road where she could kill someone. He should have put her ass in one of those Powerwheel Escalades. Tila wouldn’t know the difference. She’d be toot-tooting down the street like retard. You’d probably find her parked down the block idling in front of a stop sign after she fell asleep thinking it was a red light.

Happy Labor Day and all that. If you don’t see any new posts, that means I’m either banging models or sleeping in my pj’s.