Katy Perry Denies Pregnancy

Katy Perry shot down rumors that she was pregnant at the American Music Awards. She told Hollyscoop, “Hell, no!,” when asked whether she’s going to have kids anytime soon.

Pregnancy rumors started flying around again when people noticed a food baby pushing out her AMAs outfit. Turns out she was just pregnant with the most delicious baby of them all, In-N-Out. She told The Insider, “I like In-N-Out Burger and Taco Bell and if you want to make that pregnant that’s your problem.” She also said she loves drinking too much to get pregnant.

Russell Brand found the perfect woman. Hot, at least when she wears makeup (yikes), doesn’t want kids anytime soon and likes to party. Coincidentally, those are the three of the four qualities I require of a girl in my fake Craigslist model search posting. The fourth is “can keep mouth shut.”