Jessica Simpson’s Baby Is Worthless

Bad news for celebrities looking to sell their baby photos. The golden age of using your kid to turn a profit is over. Jessica Simpson, for example, is going to have a hard time selling her pictures. Experts predict she won’t even get above six figures for her baby photos. Contrast that to Nicole Richie in 2008 who banked $1 million from her stupid kid.

“Jessica isn’t as relevant as she used to be,” said “Cult of Celebrity” author Cooper Lawrence. “She’s making shoes now. Her baby daddy [fiancé Eric Johnson] isn’t famous enough for anyone who doesn’t know her personally to care, and the trend of celebrity baby photos is done for the consumer as well. Let us know if when the kid is 10 it has its first kiss with Mason Kardashian. Then we’ll talk.” Huffington Post

I’m pretty sure you could pay Jessica Simpson in donuts and pies and she’d be just as happy. Just don’t tell her how many donuts and pies she could get if you paid her real money. First rule of negotiations, know your subjects and their propensity for being a fatty.