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A report by British tabloid Now Daily (via Gawker), a publication that throws rumors out there hoping one of them will stick like bologna on a stripper’s ass, reports that Katie Holmes hates the name Suri and is now calling her Scout. As in the character from To Kill a Mockingbird or as in Scout Willis, Demi Moore’s daughter.

Katie also wants to give Suri the middle name “Cruise” and change her last name to “Holmes” making her new name Scout Cruise Holmes.

Whatever. Katie should just let Suri pick her own name. MC McPoopy Pants isn’t too bad. Plus, it has a nice ring to it.