Rihanna Threw Up at Her VIP Table

Rihanna was partying at 1Oak in Las Vegas after performing at the iHeartRadio music festival when she had too much to drink and reportedly threw up into a napkin. A guy gave her a towel to so she could clean it up because he sure as hell wasn’t touching that.

Usually yakking means it’s time to head home but Rihanna is a seasoned vet. She soldiered on like a champ and hit up the Spearmint Rhino strip club where she made a stripper dance for her while she stuffed dollar bills in her mouth. Who says stripping isn’t an empowering profession? Empowering for the customer, I mean.

In related news, The Sun says Rihanna was almost thrown out of the Rose Club in London earlier this month when she leaped onto a table and smashed it. Bouncers tried to throw her out while Rihanna shouted those magic words, “Don’t you know who I am?,” and her friends screamed, “That’s Rihanna, you idiots!” They only realized it was Rihanna by the time they got to the exit. To apologize, the manager ordered free drinks for the table and a new table. Celebrities! They’re nothing like us.

In even more Rihanna news, she’s praying for Chris Brown after he failed a drug test while on probation for punching her a couple hundred times in the face. While drug testing in his probation was never mandatory, the judge still gave him a stern warning.