John Mayer Plans to Romance 60-Year Old Hippie Women

John Mayer and Katy Perry are no more. That leaves Mayer with plenty of time on his hands. He’s a notorious womanizer, but there’s one demographic he hasn’t touched. Old, hippie women. Mayer realizes this is such an untapped gold mine. All that experience, all the things they’ve seen and done. But where, WHERE to find an ample supply of these girls??

Enter the Grateful Dead. They’ve added Mayer on as a member. Billboard speaks:

As previously reported by Billboard, three of the Dead’s “core four” players — guitarist Bob Weir and drummers Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzmann — plan to continue the party, with John Mayer on guitar. Their first performance as Dead & Company is set for Halloween night (Oct. 31) at New York’s Madison Square Garden, where the Grateful Dead had played more than 50 times since its formation in 1965.

Mayer, who is far, far out of the listening demographic for the band, discovered their music through Pandora. As a reminder, the Grateful Dead came about in the 1960s, where there was no such thing as shuffle, let alone a station that played music based on your personal preferences. Back then, maybe a radio DJ would play two songs in a row that you liked.

Could we see Katy Perry and Mayer back together again? Only if she likes the smell of incense and patchouli mixed in with the fabulous scent of unwashed human.