I can no longer remember what Christina Aguilera’s face looks like. Between her breasts and her ass, she could have a squid for a head and it could be eating a puppy and the puppy could be pooping and I wouldn’t even notice. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have this uncontrollable desire to make motorboat noises.
Johnny Depp Dressed as Jack Sparrow, Forced to Entertain Pirates of the Caribbean Riders
Brad Pitt Calls David Fincher to Direct ‘World War Z’ Sequel and Save His Career
Emily Ratajkowski and Her Sports Bra Hit the Streets
This Isn’t Aaron Hernandez’s Gay Lover, Just His Really Close Friend, Says the Guy’s Attorney
Kate Beckinsale in Thigh High Boots, What More Do You Want?
Here’s Al Pacino With His 38-Year-Old Girlfriend
Scarlett Johansson Wants to Party With Her Doppelganger Grandma
You Can Get Dragon Frappuccinos Instead of Unicorn Frappuccinos Now If You Really Hate Yourself
The Rest of the Web, Wednesday, 4.26.17
Heineken Just Out-Pepsi’d Pepsi
Aaron Hernandez Leaves Gay Prison Lover Without Explanation for Suicide
Kourtney Kardashian Posted a Bunch of Butt Shots Online