Jessica Alba is Awake

Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen showed up at the premiere of their new thriller, Awake, yesterday where they stood there and had their pictures taken. Being a celebrity is hard work. If you’re dying to know what Awake is about, then look no further. I have taken this excerpt from IMDB in an effort to save you time. You may repay me with cookies or ice cream or cookies crumbled on top of ice cream, but don’t even think about giving me a cookie with ice cream on top. That’s gross.

The story focuses on a man (Christensen) who suffers “Anesthetic Awareness” (An occurrence where during surgery where not enough anesthetic medication for the patient’s body weight), and finds himself awake and aware, but paralyzed, during heart surgery. His wife (Alba) must wrestle with her own demons as a drama unfolds around them

I hope “wrestling with her own demons” means nude pudding wrestling. If that’s the case, Hayden Christensen could be punching me in the nuts the entire length of the film and I would still walk out of the theater with a bruised boner proclaiming this to be the greatest movie since Citizen Kane. You may think I say this about every movie that gives me an erection, but that’s just not true. I thought Garfield sucked.

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