The hair clogs the pool

Christina Aguilera and simian husband Jordan Bratman’s foray into parenthood hasn’t stopped them from enjoying sexy skinny dips in their pool. The two can be often heard splashing around in the moonlight and disturbing the old people living near them.

“They don’t just splash around – they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises,” says a source. “We’re happy that they’re happy, but we wish they’d keep it down a bit. There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don’t like noise after the dinner hour.”

One thing the old people can do is throw their used Depends over the wall, into their pool. I’m pretty sure a diaper full of feces exploding into the heated water will kill any mood. But, that’s just me. For all I know, monkey boy Bratman might start flinging the poo around in a fit of ecstasy.

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