ESC

Jenna Jameson confirms your worst fears

Jenna Jameson tells Us Magazine that “Yes, I can confirm I’m pregnant. It’s still early, so I’m being cautious. I’m resting as much as possible,” confirming an earlier rumor by the New York Post. Jenna says she and Tito are still in shock. Shock that her womb can still cultivate life after having been eviscerated by multiple penii (penises?) throughout her career.

Jenna goes on to compare herself to Angelina Jolie — bwahhahahaha — saying she’s going to stay unmarried and just have babies. Look, the only way Jenna is like Angelina is if Angelina filmed herself banging a lot of dudes and my friend walked in on me jacking off to it. While that would be cool, I lost all hope of that ever happening three years ago.

Ms. Famous Adult Film Star also says she’s moving down to the beach with Tito. Good idea. That way the baby can more easily drown themselves after they realize who their parents are.

  • Bob Frapples

    “last week when Playboy did a good thing”
    WTF? Playboy is about showing naked women for men. NOBODY wants to see naked dudes who think they’re girls! Liberals LOVE science when it comes to shitting on religion but not when it comes to gender.

  • Jac Jac

    Ines Rau has the right to identify as a woman. But all the plastic surgery in the world can not make her one. Playboy’s desperate bid for attention may bite them in the ass.

    And you don’t have to be a Liberal to shit on religion.

  • “This guy identifies as a girl. And that’s cool.”

    Meanwhile back in the real world, it’s a sorry turn of events to see a porn star, no less, stating something blindly obvious to anyone with a modicum of common sense, and yet still get shouted down for daring to engage in wrongthink. Goodness, and then she has the temerity to not respond to criticism with a cringing apology for the crime of saying what most other people are probably thinking.

  • John Monitor

    I agree with Jenna … I want to see naked women, not men who have been skin grafted to look like women. Its like the difference between fake boobs and natural ones – men don’t care, as long as they’re boobs that came from women (not ones grown in a lab.)

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