Over the weekend, Jessica Alba’s kid felt her up while she was being carried around Brentwood. It was depressing. I’ve been trying to do this for six years and this kid does it in one. What a show-off. Well, at least I’m happy knowing that I can bathe myself and I don’t have to have Jessica do it for me. Haha, loooser. Hey, wait a minute. Aww, crap. You lucky bitch.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
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Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia