Over the weekend, Jessica Alba’s kid felt her up while she was being carried around Brentwood. It was depressing. I’ve been trying to do this for six years and this kid does it in one. What a show-off. Well, at least I’m happy knowing that I can bathe myself and I don’t have to have Jessica do it for me. Haha, loooser. Hey, wait a minute. Aww, crap. You lucky bitch.
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