Angels wept on Saturday as two douchebags, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, joined together in holy matrimony. They exchanged vows in front of 200 other famewhores including Audrina Patridge, Kirstin Cavallari and Brody Jenner. Heidi rented a diamond floral necklace, diamond earrings and diamond hairpins to avoid looking like a complete pauper. Spencer wore a suit. Also, most likely rented.
Turning the evening into the gaudy affair that everyone expected, they hired a skywriter to write “Spencer loves Heidi.” Heidi also Twittered throughout most of the day, but later discovered her only two followers were out of town.
At the end of the night, a black Rolls Royce Phantom pulled up to the church steps marking the most exciting and anticipated part of the evening. Spencer and Heidi leaving.