Kim Kardashian will help ease the pain

Still reeling over the death of the King of Pop? Thinking that there won’t be anyone like him in the next century? Well worry no more because Kim Kardashian is in the studio right now recording tracks for an R&B album. Michael’s successor has arrived. And she’s a chick.

But what will her music sound like, you ask. Think Lady GaGa, Britney Spears and J.Lo with a bit of R&B all mixed together. In short, a clusterfuck of suck. Expect nothing short of synthesizers, auto-tune and backup singers distracting you from her voice. To find out what Kim sounds like without post-processing, simply run your fingernails across a chalkboard. [C&D, Awkward Silence]