Be more like Ashlee

Jessica Simpson has been mighty depressed ever since Tony Romo broke up with her and didn’t even give it so much as a second thought. A source says Jessica doesn’t take breakups well and she has a hard time letting go. Her parents have been trying to help, even encouraging her to go out and have fun. Though Jessica thinks the world is judging her and always wants to hide at home. Now Papa Joe is putting all his hopes and dreams into Ashlee.

“The family used to have such faith in [Jessica] and they worried about Ashlee,” says the family friend. “Now they are fully confident in Ashlee’s choices and they worry most of their days about Jessica. It seems she just can’t catch a break.”

You know your life is on a downhill skid when your parents wish you were more like your pointy chinned sibling who’s married to a big, fey douchebag. That’s got to be hard to swallow. Especially when you know you won the genetic lottery. You could draw a Captain Morgan mustache on Jessica’s face and give her a peg leg and she’d still be sexier than Ashlee. Yet, here’s Ashlee being cast in the Melrose Place remake while Jessica is singing at county fairs. This is depressing even for me.

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14 years ago

Don’t count out Jessica just yet… Look at Britney and her comeback. Life is a journey.

14 years ago

Reading the last paragraph made me sad for her.

14 years ago

Yeah I bet her parents have been trying to help. Bet pervy Joe climbed in bed with her to console her by massaging her boobs.