What a fantastic present

It’s a well known fact that John Mayer is a gigantic douche bag. So, this story comes as no surprise. Page Six says that when Mayer and Jessica Simpson were still dating, he couldn’t make it to her birthday party because he was on tour. To help Jessica cope, he sent her a DVD of him in concert.

Jessica spent the rest of the night watching the DVD on a loop, ‘being with him.’ It was so sad.”

Are you sure she wasn’t crying because she had to watch John Mayer in concert on a loop because she couldn’t figure out how to take the DVD off repeat on account of her having only 10 brain cells and all? I’d rather have Mike Tyson shove his fist up my ass. If you told me to choose between that and watching a John Mayer concert, I’d breathe a heavy, defeated sigh and bend over.